


This feels like falling in love

by copenhagenborn



Series: A long way from the playground [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Famous!Louis, First Kiss, Footballer!Louis, Kid!Fic, Kid!Harry, Kid!Niall, M/M, daddy!Liam, daddy!louis, elounor!parents, it's a bit angsty, mentions of harry/others - Freeform, mummy!Eleanor, niall and harry are 12, teacher!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 01:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4081537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copenhagenborn/pseuds/copenhagenborn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ve been thinking about something,” Niall muses when he flicks the page of his maths book.<br/>“Yeah and what’s that Niall?” Harry smiles and spins the chair around to face his friend. “Something to do about maths, because I’m rubbish at that and you know it.” He leans back a bit and puts his feet on top of the blonde’s back with a fond smile.<br/>“I want to kiss you,” he says instead. </p>
<p>In which Harry really wants Niall to be his first kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This feels like falling in love

It is a late Sunday afternoon. Harry is sitting in the office chair at his desk while Niall is lying in his bed, his head resting on his hand and his feet hovering in the air. Times like these where it is just Niall and Harry has been few ever since the summer holiday.

After graduating from mister Malik’s class and becoming a part of middle school, the two friends had been split up into two classes. Niall has always been great with number and science; he loves the rush when he finally solves a problem only using his mind, while Harry is a bit more interested in humanities. In addition, Niall’s activity level, especially during physical education, has always been much greater than Harry’s causing them to once again be split up.

Therefore, every Sunday one or the other turns up at the front step of the other’s door with a bag filled with a change of clothes and the books needed for homework. Liam, Louis and Eleanor have longed stopped trying to figure out a system and have slowly begun to adapt to their children’s routines.

“I’ve been thinking about something,” Niall muses when he flicks the page of his maths book.

“Yeah and what’s that Niall?” Harry smiles and spins the chair around to face his friend. “Something to do about maths, because I’m rubbish at that and you know it.” He leans back a bit and puts his feet on top of the blonde’s back with a fond smile.

“I want to kiss you,” he says instead. Without removing his gaze on the book in front of him, Niall wiggles his body until the feet fall down to lie beside him in the bed. With a swift pull, he tugs Harry into the bed and slings an arm around him. “I just thought you might like to know,”

“What?” Harry splutters confused. When the blonde does not react, he pulls the maths book from under his nose and throws it across the room.

“Hey! That has been expensive. Don’t throw around with my things please.”

“Oh, like your daddy won’t just buy you a new one if you needed it, Niall. I’ve meet Louis and he buys you at least two of everything if he thinks you might need it.” Harry scoffs with a smirk. He pushes at Niall’s shoulder until the other boy falls down on his back with Harry hovering above him. “Now, what was that about a kiss?”

Niall shrugs. “Mummy always kisses daddy when he does something she likes, or when she’s happy or when he’s sad. It seems nice.” He explains with a smile. “I just thought that it might be nice to try it with you, like, make you happy if you are sad just by touching your lips. That seems quite nice doesn’t it?”

And “oh,” that seems reasonable. However, kisses are for adults and things your parents do when they want to be embarrassing.

“Have you ever been kissed before Harry?” Niall asks. He raises a hand to gently tug at one of Harry’s wayward curls, releasing it and letting it curl back up before tucking it back behind his ear.

“Yes.” He replies without a doubt. Everyone has been kissed, why is Niall asking such stupid questions? It is the first thing his father did when he is on his way out of the door and the last thing before bed.

“By anyone you _liked_ -liked?” Niall asks again, this time with a scarlet blush to his cheeks and his lower lip tugged between his teeth. “By someone like me?”

“No,” Harry says this time. He does not bother to tell the blonde that that is really a two part question, because one, no he has not been kissed by anyone he likes, but even if he had, none of them would ever be like Niall.

“Then I’m gunna kiss you, Harold.” Niall concludes with a smile. He pulls the younger lad down to lie on his chest, a pale hand stroking his back in long motions.

Harry waits a couple of beats waiting for something to happen. But when Niall does nothing but switch to scratching Harry’s scalp instead, Harry asks, “Are you gunna kiss me now then?” his voice is timidly, but the way Niall stares adoringly back at him makes an odd calmness spread in his chest.

“No Harry, our first kiss has to be special.” Niall shakes his head lightly, “No right after we’ve talked about it, stupid head.”

+

“Daddy, why is mister Malik leaving your room before breakfast?” Harry muses one day during dinner. Liam has been working late lately so instead of spending time in the kitchen , he has brought home Italian from Harry’s favourite place for them to eat in front of the telly just this once. “Does he not eat? You also tell me I have to eat before going to school, so why doesn’t he have to?”

A half tomato falls from the fork Liam is holding, “You-you’ve noticed that?” the father blushes. He puts the box down on the table. “I mean, why haven’t you said anything if it annoys you?” Liam corrects and turns toward his son, his fingers numbly turning the volume down on the episode of _Doctor Who_ playing on the telly.

“It doesn’t annoy dad, I just don’t understand what he is during there.” Harry hums mindlessly, still keeping his eyes on the screen while stuffing his face with the food. “Is there something wrong with my school papers? Or is he helping you out with your work things?”

“No, nothing is wrong with your school things don’t worry, love.” Liam chuckles lightly. “No. You know that sometimes children have both a mummy and a daddy – like Niall – but sometimes they only have one parent like you do,”

Harry nods confusedly. “Does Zayn also only have a daddy? Is that what you’re saying?”

Liam shakes his head, “Sometimes when a child’s daddy doesn’t have a mummy, the daddy might see other people who make him feel like the mummy did. Like Eleanor and Louis,”

“Or like Niall and me, isn’t that right daddy?”

“Sort of, babe, but like, when you’re adults and you really like someone you sometime do stuff like sleep in the same bed, hug each other really tightly, and talk about your problems because the other person really just want to help,” Liam explains further.

“So exactly like Niall and me then?” Harry frowns. He does not understand why his daddy keeps telling him things that he obviously knows. Niall and he often sleep in the same bed, when the bed in the guest room at the Tomlinson residence is too lonely, or when the mattress on the floor is getting too cold. “So mister Malik and you sleep together? But why is that a big deal?”

“We are a bit more than just sleeping together,” Liam argues, but quickly realise it is a lost cause. “Well some people doesn’t feel it’s right that parents and teachers do stuff like that together, have you heard the term conflict of interest? It is when you either benefit or lose because of the relations you have. And you being Zayn’s student – former student now, though – makes it a conflict of interest,”

“I won’t tell if you don’t want me to.” Harry promises quietly. He scoots up close to his father and tucks his feet underneath his thighs. “Even Niall but he won’t tell either. You can tell mister Malik he can stay for breakfast if he wants to, I won’t mind.”

Liam smiles fondly and pulls his son onto his lap. He winds his arms around the small boy and pulls his against his chest, “I’ll be sure to tell him that, he misses you quite a bit you know, favourite student and all.”

“Do you and mister Malik kiss each other on the lips?” Harry asks timidly, making sure not to meet his father’s eyes, “I know just because you sleep together you don’t have to kiss, but do you?”

“Uhh,” Liam stutters. “Yes, Zayn and I kiss each other on the lips.”

“But like, one of my mates – I don’t think you know him – he has thought about kissing this boy in his school, but is it completely safe? Can something happen? What if you get sick? Not me of course, but my friend,”

So with a smile on his lips, and a note to call up Louis later, Liam tells him that no, kissing is completely safe, and that he can tell his friend that he can freely kiss his friend without having to worry about anything.

+

It is a Saturday night and Harry should really be asleep.

Niall is lying beside him in the bed; his legs curled up to his chest but still have an arm wrapped around Harry’s waist. And Harry really wants to just fall back asleep with an arm around Niall, but his throat is so dry that it feels like it could crack if he swallows another time.

So with the stealth and elegance he does not have, he wiggles out of Niall’s arms and sneaks out of his friend’s bedroom. He is just about to enter the kitchen on the ground floor, but then he hears the laughter coming from the telly room.

“You’re so silly, Lou. The children are sleeping, no naughty times when Harry is in the house,” Eleanor giggles and slaps her husband lightly on the thigh. “What wouldn’t Liam think if he found out what went down when his son is in the house?”

“Oh, like Zayn hasn’t been sleeping over when Niall’s there, the pot calling the kettle.” Louis scoffs and scoops up her hands to hold in one of his.

Harry has known lots of mummies and daddies, like Ed’s parents who are not very affectionate with each other – only a brief kiss here and there, and a kind squeeze on the shoulder – so becoming this close with Niall and being around Eleanor and Louis he finally experience what a real relationship is like.

Liam had not dated much with Harry growing, and he certainly does not introduce them to his son. So up until meeting Niall’s parents, Harry never really had any real understanding of how to act around someone you are romantically involved with.

They had showed him how to be affectionate in a way that is appropriate for public, how small touches in sneaky places can bring a smile on the face of your partner, but most importantly, they showed him how to be in love.

“Harry, is that you?” Eleanor calls when he trips on the plant standing in the corner. “Do you want something sweetie?” she stands up from her place in Louis’ lap and goes to the small boy.

“I was just a bit thirsty; I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I’m sorry.” Harry apologises and backs out of the room with hasty steps.

“No it’s fine Harry, you’re always welcome everywhere in our house, it’s no big deal, mate.” Louis agrees. He has moved from the sofa to stand behind Eleanor, both of them looking at him with kind smiles. “Let’s get you that water, yeah? I would give you something else if you wanted but Liam has strict rules about what you consume after bedtime.”

Louis leaves the room to go to the kitchen; a gentle hand runs through Harry’s curls when he passes him. With a smile, Eleanor takes his hand and leads him after Louis.

+

The first time Harry thinks Niall is going to kiss him is during a football game in the recess. Niall and Calum are the team captains for their teams, and Harry has this one in the bag; Niall would never let him be picked last because Niall is his best friend and best friends pick each other first, do they not?

None the less, Niall Tomlinson was not in school when that friendship lesson was being given, because Harry ends up being the second to last person picked to be on Calum’s team.

“I’m sorry Haz, but you’re really bad at footie,” the blonde says when he steals the ball from the brunet and scores a goal, “Can’t really win if you keep stumbling over the ball, can we?”

“This is war, Tomlinson! I’m not gunna forgive this easily.” Harry yells as he pushes Calum out of the way and chases the ball down. Niall, who has a bit more skill than Harry in this particular department, effortlessly avoids the tackle Harry is trying to perform and delivers the football to Willie. But instead of chasing the ball down, Harry grabs a fistful of Niall’s shirt and pulls him to the grass.

“What are you doing weirdo?” he cackles happily. Niall’s lower arms are casing in Harry’s head with his legs resting on the sides of Harry’s. “That’s an illegal tackle, you know. Have you ever heard of a red card?”

But the frown on Harry’s face makes the cackling stop.

The pair just stares at each other until Niall begins to lean down. With a soft bend in his neck, Niall lets his tongue meet the corner of Harry’s mouth and takes a swipe. He leans away with a big grin and hums delighted. “Since when does Liam allow you to bring chocolate to school?”

“What? No. I mean, I traded my biscuit with Ed. He doesn’t like brownies so he said we could switch,” Harry stutters as a reply. He awkwardly accepts the hand Niall is giving him and stumbles to his feet.

“You thought I was gunna kiss you, didn’t you?” Niall grins and does a little jump. When Harry blushes a deep red colour and refuses to answer, Niall goes to the tips of his toes and places a brief peck on his cheek. “’m not gunna do it in front of this many people, Haz. Our first kiss is gunna be ours, not some sort of public event.”

And Harry decides quickly that he prefers it that way.

+

The second time Harry thinks his first kiss is going to happen is during one of Louis’ football games. Louis, besides his acting career, is an avid player on the Doncaster Rovers team. Before the acting took off he was a part of the Manchester United youth team and briefly played a couple of games with the real team before being offered an acting role. Now, to keep his love for the game and because Niall’s great interest in the game, he was offered a spot on the Rovers team that did not required too much of his time.

Niall loves being at both trainings and matches with his dad, he loves watching him run expertly around with the ball, elegantly avoiding the opponents and scoring goals. There had been talk about Niall joined the U16 Manchester United team when he turns thirteen, but until then he enjoys watching his father play just as much as being on the course himself.

Harry often tags along when Liam is working on weekends or when he feels like he has not seen Niall enough. He does not really care about the football the lads are playing on the field, but he loves to watch how passionate Niall gets when the referee judges badly or when Louis scores a goal. He especially loves when the Rovers win the game and Niall jumps from his seat to hug Harry tightly, buries his head in the crook of his neck and just breathes out a relieved sigh.

So when they are in the last minute of the game with a score of 2-2, Niall sits on the edge of the plastic chair watching his father with eyes of a hawk. Harry’s hand is clutched in his, his short scratchy nails boring into the palm of his hand, and Harry s quite sure that if Louis does not score the goal soon four half-moons are going to be imbedded in his palm.

“Come on, dad! Score that goal.” Niall yells desperately.

When Louis finally gets the ball and starts to run towards the opposite goal, the entire side of the stadium where Harry and Niall are sat stands up yelling words of encouragement.

“You go daddy, come on!” Niall cheers when Louis kicks the ball towards the goal. The ball goes straight past the goalie and flies into the net next to his head causing the fans to cheer loudly. “Wuhu, the Rovers win!” Niall sings proudly and pulls Harry into his arms for a celebratory hug.

“I’m so happy for you, Ni! Your dad is _so_ great,” Harry coos with a grin. His arms are warped around the blonde’s thin waist and hold him close to his body. “You’re gunna be just as good as him, you know that right?”

Almost as if he is chocked by Harry’s admission, he pulls back so they stand nose to nose with their eyes locked. “What? Is that a surprise to you?” Harry chuckles quietly and lets his hand fall from his waist to take Niall’s hand in his. Niall nods slowly, his eyes only blinking once leaving his eyes looking wide and innocent. “Is it a surprise that it’s me who’s telling you or is it because of _what_ I said?”

“No it’s just,” Niall stutters quietly, “You don’t care about football, you’ve never seen a game without me so how would you know?” he adds a small giggle at the end of his sentence.

“I may not care about football, but I do care about you Ni. And I would never tell you something if I didn’t truly believe it.” Harry adds seriously, and then they just stare at each other. Niall’s eyes run over ever little bump and crook of Harry’s face until the ends of his mouth is pulled into a full grin.

Niall steps closer until their shoes bump against each other. A pale hand is resting against the collar of Harry’s jacket to angle his face towards Niall. _This is it,_ Harry thinks when Niall leans a bit closer and lets his nose rest against Harry in the briefest of brushes before pulling slightly back at something he sees behind Harry. “ _Oh_ ,” Niall mutters disappointed before pulling completely away from the other boy.

“They you are, I’ve been looking for the two of you for ages,” Eleanor laughs happily when she reaches the pair, “Your dad wants to go out for dinner, celebrate a bit if you will. He even called Liam, who we are picking up on the way to the restaurant. Are the two of you ready to go?”

And Harry does not mean to, he never hates anyone and Eleanor is a lovely person – almost like a mother for him – but in that moment he kind of hates her.

+

“’member my friend I told you about? The one who wanted to kiss their friend?” Harry muses a late Wednesday night when he and Liam are sitting opposite each other during respectively homework and editing an article.

Liam looks up from his computer with a frown. “That’s Barry guy right? He wanted to kiss his best friend?” 

“I never told you his name,” Harry replies suspiciously and puts his pencil down. “I just told you it was a mate of mine,”

“No, I’m pretty sure you mentioned his name.” Liam nods affirmatively. “What about him then? Did he finally get to kiss the lad? Are they boyfriends now? Have he been probably introduced to his parents?”

“It’s not like that with them.” Harry scoffs. “He already knows the parents and no, they haven’t kissed yet. But that isn’t even my question.” Harry has long thought about how he could breach the subject of how to kiss Niall with his dad without giving him hints about what it is really about. But seeing as his wish to kiss Niall outweighed the embarrassment of Liam finding out, he decided to ask his father. “Just, like, the other guy said he was gunna kiss Barry right, make it proper romantic and all that, but then they almost did it twice and now it’s like he’s pulled back as if he’s given up on me, I mean Barry. I just wanna know if Barry can kiss him without breaking some sort of code, like because he said he wanted to be the one kissing Barry then Barry is prohibited from kissing him first.”

Liam nods slowly, ignoring the accidental drop of a ‘me’ instead of Barry and stands up. He kneels down next to Harry’s chair and takes his hands into his. “I think, that because of Barry and his relationship, it doesn’t matter who kisses who. I think their friendship is ready for the next step no matter who takes it, and maybe it doesn’t matter if it’s proper romantic as long as it’s those two who go through it together. Do you follow me?”

“He can just kiss him then? Like he can do tomorrow if he wants?” Harry questions curiously. Everything Liam tells him is scarily accurate to his situation with Niall, and if his daddy is right, which he almost always is, he could just go up and kiss Niall when he see him tomorrow.

“Yeah, it sounds like those two really love each other, so everything is gunna be just fine, love.”

+

Harry has a plan when he arrives in school, today is the day he is gunna have his first kiss. So instead of being annoyed that he has two periods of French with Mademoiselle Bellerose, he enjoys the time he has with Ed.

Ed does not understand a single word in French, he can barely say ‘Hello, my name is Ed Sheeran,’ but he does not care. The minute he turns eighteen, he is going to be a ticket for America and sing his way through the country until he gets a record deal. Harry on the other hand is so fluent in the language, that when Bellerose start to preach about the gender of nouns he tunes her out and focuses on something else, like Ed.

He softly asks the red haired boy if he has ever kissed someone and when the redhead blushes a deep scarlet colour and nods, Harry eagerly asks what it felt like.

Ed explains how he and Ellie had been playing on the swings and when she fell down; Ed had hurried towards her and helped her to her feet. She had leant down to place a kiss on his cheek as thanks, but instead of reaching his cheek she had kissed the corner of his mouth. When neither of them pulled away, she had kissed him properly until the bell had rung them back to class.

“it was sorta wet, like a bit of slobber and not very coordinated you know?” Ed tells him with a grin. “None of us knew what we were doing so we just did what we thought was best, I’m sure it’ll be better next time.”

“Did you use tongue?” Harry asks quietly. He had heard Niall’s cousin Ashton talking with Michael how good it felt when Luke used his tongue during a kiss. But kissing is just the lips touching, Harry knows this, he has seen Eleanor and Louis kiss, and that one time where Zayn stayed for breakfast. There was certainly no tongue used.

“Nah mate, it was just a peck really. No tongue, no biting, just lips touching.” Ed laughs and claps Harry on the shoulder. “What has got you talking about kissing? Have you seen a fit bird you wanna swap spit with?” When Harry looks outraged, Ed just shakes his head, “Niall then, who else?”

But Harry still does not respond, he is still thinking about Ed’s description of kisses. Who the fudge wanted to be bit when you were kissing?

+

When the bell to recess rings, Harry is already on his way to Niall’s classroom. He has asked Willie to keep Niall in the room until he arrives, but knowing the blonde he probably will not be held back without a reason. But just as he turns the corner to the science building, a pale hand pulls him into a room.

“Hey! What are you.. Taylor? What are you doing?” Harry frowns at the tall blonde. Taylor and Harry had been good friends ever since he switched school. She is bubbly and happy, never quiet and is always up for a laugh, a bit like a female Niall which is probably why Harry likes her so much. Just like Ed, Taylor is planning to go back to America to pursue a singing career, but with her parents’ background, her mother a former model and dad a diplomat, her future is a bit more secure than Ed’s.

“I heard you talking to Ed in French. The kissing stuff I mean,” the blonde girl admits quietly, her face flushed a pale red that almost matches her red dress.

“Yeah, what of it?”

“I just, it got me thinking about first kisses and stuff.” She shrugs and steps a bit closer to the boy. “I mean, you have to do it with someone you feel safe with because it new and you haven’t done it before. But even then you want it to be with someone who you won’t be mad at later in life, because who’s gunna forget their first kiss? No one does that.”

And that is all correct, Harry sees that, but why is she telling him? Niall _does_ make him feel safe and no matter what happens later in life, Niall is the one he wants to have his first kiss – even if they have a fall-out. “That’s great Taylor, I’m sure you will…” But Harry does not get any further before thin lips coated with cherry lip-gloss covers his.

It takes him a few seconds before he realises that _this_ is a kiss. Taylor is _kissing_ him. This is his _first_ kiss.

He stumbles back in shock, staring betrayed at the blonde with horror in his eyes and tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. “Why did you do that?” he whispers, no sure he trusts his voice to be calm if he raises the volume. “Why did you bloody do that? You _stole_ my first kiss! You stole something that I was gunna give to Niall. The one thing that he doesn’t already have, the one thing _I_ could give him – and you just took it away from him! Why?!”

Taylor just stands there, her blue eyes blown wide and innocent with silent tears running down her cheeks. “I, I just thought that it might be nice for both of us if we shared our first kiss. We are never gunna be together like that so we won’t have anything to regret. I _trust_ you, that was why I picked you. I thought you would be glad.” Her voice trembles and her thin legs shakes in the teeny-tiny ballet flats she is wearing. “You’re one of my best friends Harry, I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“Niall is it for me Taylor, I trust him and he would never hurt me. So what if we don’t stay best friends, I can live that because I will always know how I feel right now,” Harry argues angrily. He steps around Taylor and goes to the door, “But what if we did end up spending our lives together; don’t you think it would be nice to tell everybody that we were each other’s first kiss? But that’s ruined now, isn’t it Taylor?”

 

He walks swiftly to his locker to get the rest of his bag and sends a quick text to Willie that he can let Niall go; there is no point in kissing Niall now that his day is ruined. He goes to the kerb of the road and sits down before pulling out his phone to call his dad.

“Hi love, shouldn’t you be in class? Can you be quick please? I’m just about to go into a meeting,” Liam rushes out when he finally picks up the phone.

“I’m.. Taylor did something, and I really need to be home right now,” Harry stutters out. “Can you please come and pick me up? I don’t wanna be here anymore.”

“Harry babe, you can’t just go home because your friend said something you didn’t like,” Liam sighs heavily. Harry hears him tell his assistant something mentioning his name and another deep sigh, “Tell you what, I’ll pick you up the minute I can get out of the meeting and then we’ll eat some ice cream. You can bring Niall if you want to.”

“No, no Niall. I just need to come home, please daddy. I can’t see him right now, it hurts so much,” Harry lets out a small cry at the end of his words, but Liam hears it clearly. He quickly understands that this is not just Harry whinging about a spat he had with a friend, but something he sees as really serious.

“Okay Harry, just stay outside of the school. I’ll see what I can do about it.” Liam says after a long pause, “I hope you’re gunna be alright, I’ll see you later yeah?”

“Okay daddy, I love you,” Harry replies before hanging up the phone.

 

About ten minutes goes by before a group of primary school students runs out of the building across the streets. Harry is just about to go alert someone when a familiar person comes walking out the front door of the school.

“Mister Malik? Are those your students? Shouldn’t you be in class?” Harry frowns when the tanned man steppes onto the pavement. Harry stands up beside him and discreetly wipes his eyes before rubbing his cheeks free of tear stains.

“Liam called me,” Zayn answers slowly.

Harry and Zayn have not been spending very much time together since Harry graduated his primary education, the only time they had acknowledged each other when they were in the same room was that one time he stayed for breakfast.

“Oh, he couldn’t come?”

“No love, the meeting he’s in is really important and he can’t leave it. But I’m here to take you home and stay with you until Liam gets back, if you don’t mind of course.” He explains in a soft voice. He puts a gentle hand between Harry’s shoulder blades after a brief nod from the boy and escorts him toward the car park. “We can pick up some food on the way home if you like,”

“No, I’m fine. Just didn’t feel like being in the school anymore,” Harry mutters quietly.

It is a bit weird, Harry thinks, dealing with boy problems in the presence of his former pre-school teacher turned dad’s boyfriend. All he really wants is to talk about how much of a jerk Taylor is, but his dad is in a meeting and instead he got Zayn, who Harry knows basically nothing about.

They reach the car park and Zayn walks to the left until he pops the door to the car open.

Harry does not know what he has expected; his dad’s car is a sensible Volvo with space enough for everything they need, Louis’ car, which neither Niall or Harry are allowed to drive in, is a black Bugatti Veyron while Eleanor drives a four doors convertible, so he really has experience with all sorts of cars. But a bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle with three stripes on its roof is not the car Harry thought mister Malik drove.

“My uh, my family thought it would be fun to give me a Beetle when I graduated. I don’t exactly have a salary that allows me to just throw away a car,” Zayn shrugs and gets behind the wheel.

“It’s nice, dad would never buy a car like this. Have you taken him driving in this?” Harry smiles as his fingers runs over the instrument board. “I would love to see that,”

+

Harry does not tell Zayn anything when they arrive at the house. Instead he goes straight into his room and buries himself underneath the blankets and pillows. It is first when Liam gets home with a yell of ‘ _I’m home my loves,’_ that Harry finally stirs.

“Have he said anything?” Harry hears Liam ask. Zayn replies with a long sigh and an explanation of the total silence after since the car drive. “It’s not you babe, I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m gunna go find out, you can stay if you want – eat some dinner with us when he’s finally out of his room.”

“No, I think he needs it’s to be just the two of you for now,” Zayn declines kindly, “Maybe some other day we can do something the three of us.”

It takes no longer than a minute from the door closing behind Zayn to Liam kneeling in front of Harry’s bed. “Hey little man, do you think there’s room for another one in that bed of yours?” Liam coos. He runs a gentle hand through the dark curls on Harry’s head and gives them a light tug when he shakes it, “Don’t be rude, babe.” Liam chides lightly and moves Harry further against the wall so he can lie down.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he sniffles softly. He wiggles towards the wall until Liam gives up on putting an arm around him. “You might as well just leave.”

“You know I’m not gunna do that, love. When have I ever left you? We’re Payne’s babe, we’re in it together.” Liam chuckles and turns to lie on his back. “Will you tell me if I guess it?”

“Yes, but you’re never going to.”

“Did you try to kiss Niall today?” Liam asks promptly.

“Why would I be said if I had tried to kiss Niall?” Harry frowns.

“Maybe he didn’t want you to kiss him, but that’s not it. Has it something to do with kissing?”

Harry nods slowly.

“Did someone make fun of you wanting to kiss Niall?” Liam asks cautiously.

Liam knows that the school Harry goes go is relatively accepting and there has never been a problem with other sexualities, but sometimes children can be mean.

“No dad. People _like_ Niall, they would never make fun of someone wanting to kiss him.”

“Did someone else kiss Niall?” at that Harry freezes. He stays in his spot on the bed but slowly turns his head from side to side until Liam gets a knowing look on his face. “Did Taylor kiss _you_?” Liam questions sadly, finally clueing together the things Harry had told him on the phone.

So Harry tells him what happened, how Taylor had kissed him when he did not want her to, how he had planned to kiss Niall and give him his first kiss which is now forever stolen by someone who is not more than a friend to him.  He tells him how Niall is never going to want to kiss him again because he is now impure and not worthy of his kiss, and how his first kiss was the only thing Niall could give him that Louis could not buy him.

And Liam means to reply, he really does, because this is not thoughts that a twelve year-old boy should walk around with, but when he finally figures out what to reply, Harry is already asleep.

+

Harry spends the next week avoiding both Taylor and Niall. It is easy enough if he tries his best and does not wish to have any other social interactions because everyone in their year is almost certainly either friends with one of them or both.

He ignores the apology letters Taylor keep leaving at his desk, and when Niall suggests they do something after school, Harry quickly declines and texts him another lie. He is still not sure he would be able to look into the blonde boy’s eyes without falling to his knees for forgiveness.

When Sunday morning Niall comes around to the Payne residence, even though it is Liam’s turn for a day off, Harry asks Liam to tell Niall that he is sick and cannot hang out for the day. And even though Liam greatly protests, Harry convinces him by saying he will talk to Niall within a week.

“You know he’s not gunna hate you, right?” Liam muses when the blonde finally leaves. Niall never really minds sick people, his grandmother was a nurse and he himself had been plenty sick growing up, so instead of shying away at the mention of sickness he had become more insistent on seeing Niall.

“I _kiss_ someone else; it’s not something you just forgive.” Harry scoffs. “I was supposed to be his first kiss and he mine, but now stupid Taylor has ruined _everything_.”

“A kiss doesn’t make you impure, you know that right Harry? And if he thinks that then he doesn’t care enough about you. No matter what you’ve done with other doesn’t make it anyone else’s business, and you should never allow them to judge you by that. Do you understand me Harold Payne?” Liam says sternly.

“Yes, but..”

“No buts, if you wanted to kiss your entire class then you do that; Niall is not entitled to say anything about that, no one is. I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you won’t be judged because of the romantic relations you take part of, now and in the future.”

“Yes daddy! I do go to school with some older children, I know where you’re going.” Harry sighs but withholds the eye contact he has with Liam. “He was supposed to be my _first_. What am I supposed to do now?”

Liam ponders whether he should say something or hold it, but the defeated look on his son’s face makes him sigh and kneel down beside him. “You know that boyfriends, when they get older mind you, do other stuff than kiss each other, right? I’m sure if the two of you stay together, Niall can your first something else.” Liam tells him quietly, fighting to keep the redness on his cheeks at a bare minimum. “I’m not encouraging you to do anything else right now, but kissing is only the first thing you do when you are together as a couple.”

“Like… touching and stuff on the willies?”

“Yes Harry, when you get old enough some people might feel the want to touch each other’s willies. But someone might not, for them the emotional connection is enough. And just because you’re attracted to Niall right now, doesn’t mean that you don’t like girls too. It’s not all that black and white.” Liam explains slowly.

“But wanting to touch each other is normal right?”

“Yes, but so is not wanting to be touched or touch other people. But I would prefer it if you both wait until you get a bit older, yeah? That’ll keep your dad’s mind calm for a bit,”

+

“Niall, can I talk to you?” Harry asks when he sees the blonde on his way to the car park where Eleanor is waiting. “I’m sorry I have been ignoring you these past weeks, but I need to talk to you now.”

“Oh, you need to talk to me and then suddenly should jump on my hands and feet to fulfil your request? Go to hell, Harry.” Niall scoffs angrily and pulls his rucksack further up on his back. He speeds up his walk, but Harry is taller and his legs are longer.

“Taylor kissed me,” he blurts out when they reach the pedestrian crossing. “I didn’t kiss her back, but she did it and I felt so ashamed. I didn’t know what to do or what you were gunna say, so I just stayed away because I couldn’t bare it if we had a fall out again; what if you suddenly just stopped talking to me?”

“Like you did to me? I haven’t seen you in two weeks and everything you’ve texted me are one worded sentences. Does that not feel like we weren’t friends anymore or is it okay because it was on _your_ terms?”

“That wasn’t, no Niall. I didn’t mean it like that, please.” He whinges and pulls on the sleeve of the other boy’s jumper. “I thought you didn’t want to kiss me anymore,”

“What? Because Taylor kissed you first? That’s not a very good reason Harry.”

“I ruined it,” he replies quietly. “I was on my way to see you, to _kiss_ you, and then she came out of nowhere. We were supposed to be each other’s first kisses and now she stole it, she stole it from _you_ , Niall. I don’t know if I can forgive her. That was supposed to be yours,”

With that Niall’s entire face soften. “I don’t care, babe.” He whispers kindly. “I don’t care if Taylor kissed you first, if Ed did it or even that stupid guy from your Tennis team who always stare at you. I just wanna kiss you, Harry.” He tugs a wayward curl behind his ear and pulls Harry closer. “It can be my first kiss, yeah? We can share that, can’t we?”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Harry smiles.

Harry closes his eyes and presses his lips against Niall’s, and in that moment he is pretty sure his heart stops beating. Time does not stop or slow down or whatever they tell you in the movies, because he feels the erratically beating of Niall’s heart against his chest, the small whinge that escapes him when their lips meet and the soft tugging on his hair.

Niall’s fingers angles his face to the side, his own finding the collar of Niall’s jumper, pulling him closer until their shoes meet. The only thought that goes through his mind is that this is Niall kissing him. It is Niall’s mouth on his, Niall’s fingers playing with his hand and Niall’s hand directing Harry’s face to where he wants it.

Harry curiously licks gently at Niall’s bottom lip until Niall opens his lips with a gasp. But Harry’s is not the only one who has heard about tongues during kisses, because suddenly Niall’s tongue is sliding against his, the kiss wet and it makes him feels hot and nervous – but not in a bad way like Ed had described it. Harry hums against the kiss, pulling back a bit and pecking Niall’s lips before ending the kiss entirely.

“So that’s a kiss then,” Niall laugh brightly, his cheeks a pretty scarlet colour and his breath is not even yet, but he does not care. He just kissed Niall, so he just smiles.

“Wanna do it again?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this series x.   
> if you have wishes for future chapters of this narry growing up story, then please tell me; here on on tumblr under the same name. Please include from whom you want it told x.


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